Saturday, July 28, 2007

today was pupil free day.slept in till like 11.30.shiok ah!

first day back at school wasn't too bad.i actually missed my friends here too.it was really good seeing them.and one thing that surprised me was people i hardly ever talked to were asking me how my holidays were.and this guy morgan asked me if i was going to the academy is gig.and we just started talkin.ha.kinda weird.

it had been touched in a way it didn't like :P

pamela tan through matt fenwick's eyes.ha.

before i came here,i told myself i wanted a change.i was kinda sick of being myself, inside and out.i think physically wise i'm getting happier with myself.but inside, i hate it.i still find it hard to open up and be more sociable.

i want to be daring.more confident with myself.i want to ask a hot aussie guy out.and not care about what he thinks.haha.seriously.i kid you not.i want to flirt!omg.just try for once.i dont think i do that now.haha.tell me if i do.but yeah i think it'd be fun.i want to prove to vickaye that i can be attracted to cute guys.and that chi-na guys are totally out of the picture for me.i will get one here!hahaha.

i have a choice to make my life exciting.and i shall:D

12:32 AM

Breaking the Habit!

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

i was just getting used to the humidity.but we had to go.it was freezing when we arrived here.i actually prefer being all sweaty and sticky then cold and dry.i can't believe i'm back here.another 143 days.yes i do have a lot of time on my hands to do the counting.and yes i am quite retarded.haha.i was given false hope at the airport yesterday that we could stay for an extra night.the flight was overbooked,so they said they might have to put us on the midnight flight or the next morning.i was overjoyed!unfortunately,they found us seats.bugger.

CAN I BE YOUR MEMORY?

i had a blast the last 2 weeks.thanks to everyone who took time off to hang out with me.i know everybody was hell busy with school work and stuff.so thanks so much!

to vic,ally and yvelyn:you guys woke up so early on a school day just to have mcdonald's delivery brekkie with me at 5.30 am in the morning.i really appreciate it and i love you guys so much!and the day i arrived you guys spent the whole night with me.i am soo blessed!

to marisse,bryan,bong,zac,leslie,sean,lynn,cheryl,holly,chloe,avery,kenneth:
thanks for the acoustic special zac and bong.you guys rock!and to everyone else for just being there.was pretty upset because of some stuffs but you guys made my day.and especially to lynn ,you knew your dad would freak cos you were way over your curfew but you came anyway.youre my bitch.haha.love all!

to the goons that i saw:i know every one of you were really busy with projects and school work.but you guys still made time for me.i love you guys heaps!

to jiaming priss and mel:thanks for making my last day an awesome one.loves much

2:46 PM

Breaking the Habit!

Friday, July 20, 2007

i was fucking tired today.i don't know why.i got up pretty late.it could be my contacts hey?has been bothering me for quite a while.

planned to sleep the minute i got back home.but i became such a fucking emotional wreck.it only hit me that i was going back in just three days time.how fucking fast is that?
going back there means:1)no life.fuckin hell.i'm serious!i need my mum to drive me around everywhere.the transport system is fucking hopeless.i'm not in the popular group and shit.so parties are out.my friends parents are hell strict.so they cant go out much.fuck.
2)fucking corpus shithole.english is driving me insane!and my fuckin teacher isnt helping me much.like so what if im doing well in every other subject?if i do shit in english,i cant fucking go to UNI!!and then there's the people.they may all look mature lah.but some of them are fucking immature fools and bitches.which annoys me to hell.
3)work.i know the pay might be damn high all.but it gets so sickening sometimes.like the customers and managers can piss you off so much!

i am so going to miss the late nights out.my independence.not having to rely on my parents.

part of the reason why i broke down tonight was because i felt so fucking frustrated with my parents.i think that feeling will never go away.i blame them for the hurt that i feel.
making me put in so much effort into o levels.and the certificate is now useless to me.
not giving me a chance to experience life in poly.i really really wanted to go to ngee ann.

anything that frustrates me is that they're so freaking overprotective!omg!like i'm only here for 2 weeks.i havent seen my friends for 6 months.they set me such early curfews.and they want to know every single detail.like who im with.where im going.hoe long for.all that kinda shit.okay fine so they want me back early.so my friends offer to come over to spend time with me.since i cant go out.and they're not happy either.what the fuck?then they're always on about how im spending too much time with my friends.always eating out.so i kept myself free for lunch today.they told me to,since saturday.but in the end they cancel it.dad says its a bit of a rush and my mum says she wants to do shopping instead.fuck lah.my mum's birthday was last tuesday right?wanted to bring her out for lunch but she was all like oh we're having dinner already.how bout next week?bitch lah.she doesnt even fucking care.

so fucking pissed off now.arghh!
and im thinking too.shit,this is my first holiday back after only 6 months.i have got fucking 5 more years to go till im done with studies and i can come back here to work.FUCK LAH!!life is such a bitch.

back to reality.in about 72 hours.

12:49 AM

Breaking the Habit!