Friday, December 15, 2006

we went to watch eragon yesterday.it was alright.i guess it wasnt as good as lord of the rings and stuff.the impact of the fighting scenes and the evil creatures weren't as big.we went all the way to tampines mall anyway.he needed to collect some stuff for his dad.never been there before.haha.guess cause its too far out and i can find everything else in town?dang.and yesterday was the last day of the espirit sale.really wanted to check it out.wanted to see the christmas lights.will try to check it out next week or so with friends.when do you think they'll take it down?
we had a bit of a fallling out.and sometime during the movie i started to feel upset and irritated.to add to it,he kept asking me if i was tired or sleepy throughout the show.i mean i know he's showing concern but seriously he cant do anything about it can he?just kinda annoyed me..oh and i wore this top which i borrowed from alyssa.it was nice so i thought i'd wear it.when i meet him at the interchange he's like why wear so nice.i said for fun.truth is i just wanted to look good for him.and i thought guys usually like their girlfriends to look decent and fashionable.i was wrong there.he also said some stuff before the show that got me thinking about how different we are.and like i just felt things weren't the same.and it wasn't going as well as i hoped it would.and i wonder to myself is there any point at all in the whole thing if i constantly feel insecure and become unhappy just thinking about it?then there wouldnt be time to enjoy any love or fun,would there?but its really my fault,not fully accepting who he is and comparing him to other guys.always thinking about 'what if he was.....?'.i'm not any better too.so why am i thinking so much?he wants me to be open and he's always asking me about what i'm thinking about.its hard to say,because there's always a lot of things going through my mind.'life,friends,my leaving,him,the past,the present,the future'its nice to keep some thoughts to yourself too.and there are times when i feel he isn't entirely open with me too.so i think,why should i be?maybe i should pen my feelings down.write him a letter you know.maybe..
i'm lost.confused.best friends was great.thought if we got together it would be much better..but i guess i was wrong.what do i do now?

Breaking the Habit!